Your Weekly Dose of EEE #17: It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye
So don't. Take a little piece of Ted with you instead.
<Note: I started writing this a week ago, and haven’t had time to write an essay. So, I finished last week’s EEE and am sending it on Wednesday! What will you get Friday? An essay or an EEE? I guess we’ll all find out on Friday!">
Hello, hello!
I’m writing to you from somewhere over Ohio with no internet service. This should be interesting.
How’s your week been? Good, I hope. The weather (Why am I always talking about the weather?) went from hot as blazes to cold and rainy in the space of about an hour last week, and this week the sky (and the air quality) has been wacky because of the Canadian wildfires. I knew it would be a short week for writing, but just when I thought I’d have time to write a few hundred words on the sequel, I opened my writing software and realized my column/book chapter was overdue and had to write that up quickly instead.
But, that’s done and I’m feeling good about it so I’ll just get to the book when I have more time.
What’s Exciting Me?
This week, I was invited to a book club with some people from my town. The gathering was much more elaborate than I was expecting, with a fully cooked dinner and about 12 guests, and it was just the loveliest thing I’ve ever done for book promotion. All but two of them had read When We Were Mothers, and they had the best and most insightful questions. I came prepared with some guiding questions, but we scarcely got to them because we were so busy chatting about other, very interesting aspects about the book and the world in which it takes place.
It was simply delightful. I hope I’ll see some of those ladies here in Nicci’s Notes!
What’s Entertaining Me?
📺 Well, I finally did it. I watched the last episode of Ted Lasso. I’m pleased to say that, after a few disappointing episodes, the last one was much less cringe and, for the most part, back to exactly what I expect from Ted. ⚠️Series Finale spoilers coming up! ⚠️
After three years, Ted decided to go back to Kansas. That was the right move for him, and the decision brings me back to @Eric Pierce’s question from a few weeks ago: If he’s such a family man, why on earth did he put so many miles between himself and his kid in the first place? Decisions like this are complicated, but it’s hard to believe the move to England is consistent with his character, which is tough because it amounts to what could be considered a false premise.
But fine, let’s suspend disbelief and pretend leaving his kid for 3 years is something Ted would do. Ted is, as @Sherman Alexie mentioned last time we talked about this, unchanging and unchangeable. That’s part of the reason I find the show so comforting. He might surprise you, but usually it’s only because you forget people can truly be that wholesome. But there is one thing about him that changes, creating a non-flat arc for him, and that’s his relationship with his feelings.
At the beginning of the series, Ted was positive to the point of denial. He learned, as many do, that feelings just get in the way of a perfectly good day, and stuffing those feelings—his grief after his father’s suicide, his anger with his mother for not modeling appropriate grieving (and really not allowing him to grieve at all)—has painted him into a corner of toxic positivity that he can’t get out of until panic attacks start interfering with his work. It was a happy day in my house when he told his mom “Thank you, and fuck you.” It’s not something I ever saw coming from Ted, and it’s exactly what he needed.
Roy and Jamie’s arcs were overall pretty fun to watch. It was nice seeing the tenderness Roy started to show after he got together with Keeley, as well as the friendship he and Jamie ended up developing. They were both able to acknowledge they were acting like prima donnas, and there’s nothing sexier than someone who’s self-aware. The fact that Keeley didn’t choose either of them at the end made things that much more satisfying.
Rebecca. She got into this for the wrong reasons and had the lowest expectations of Ted. But his presence in her life, and his modeling of unconditional positive regard, sparked a real change in her, and I love it. I also love the way she uplifts others and the sweet, supportive friendship she has with Keeley.
Keeley didn’t really change at all over the course of the series—what changed was our expectations and understanding of her. Which makes her a lot like Ted, in a way—surprising, but in a really good way.
I could talk more about everyone’s arc, but as season wrap-ups tend to do, this is getting pretty long. So in conclusion, let me say two things: Zava’s presence in this season was unnecessary and weird. They could have done something better. Don’t ask me what—I’m not a writer, or at least not a Ted Lasso writer—but something. And Nate. I agree with
on this one: F him forever. I’m glad he came back crying. He deserved it. I’m glad Ted & Beard invited him back. That’s in line with their characters. But he was unnecessarily nasty and there’s nothing I dislike more than people being hateful for any reason—especially for hate’s sake. So I’m still unhappy that he came back in a redemption arc, even though it was 100% predictable that would happen.Overall I’d give Ted Lasso 4.5 stars. There were a few really bad episodes in the last season, but the wholesome reminder that people really can be good is welcome, needed, and never fails to make me smile.
<Aside: Since I’m on a flight to Kansas City, I feel obligated to point out something that is so obvious it’s almost unforgivable. There is no way Ted would have gotten on a plane in London that deposited him directly in Kansas City. That just doesn’t happen. I guess it’s easier for the story to have the person on the P.A. calling out the flight to Kansas City because that’s obviously Ted’s flight, but its 100% unrealistic. I wonder if they had this conversation in the writer’s room.>
I’m going to save books for next week. but I do have some music for you!
🎶 Gang of Rhythm by Walk off the Earth. I really like this band, and they don’t get a lot of attention. Also see: Red Hands and the amazing cover they did of Somebody That I Used to Know with all 5 band members playing the same guitar.
What’s Enlightening Me?
I had a wild weekend. I saw some family members & friends I hadn’t seen in a million years, along with some family members I hadn’t ever met. I’m not a huge fan of forced proximity with “family,” because to me the most important family is the chosen kind. In all, it was a good time—made better because I was channeling Ted throughout the four days.
My favorite feature of Ted is something I’ve heard called by many names. My favorite term for it is probably unconditional positive regard. It’s the idea that we can engage with people we don’t agree with, or people who display unexpected behavior, as long as we assume they are being earnest in their interactions rather than assuming they mean harm. (And they must assume the same of you!)
I’ve had a pretty crazy week dealing with some pretty nasty and hateful people. But most people aren’t that way. And it’s in one-on-one interactions where minds are opened and we are able to understand each other better.
So, please, can we take this part of Ted with us wherever we go?
Talk soon,
