My heart was in my throat just reading this. What an ordeal! You and your husband have to take so much credit for keeping at it in order to give your daughter a normal life. Would you be where you are now, almost to the finish line, without all of those steps in between?
All that preliminary work has brought you to the people who might finally have solved the mysteries. I hope you all can rest easy now and enjoy the days ahead.
Your dedication to your daughter's health is heartening and inspiring. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow Nicci, what a beautifully honest memoir of parenting a young child with specific needs. Thank you for opening my eyes to what you and yours have endured. You're a good one, you are.
I felt this on so many levels, Nicci. I also have a similar draft in writing, albeit with my family’s much different story. You’re right, though, that everyone’s dealing with their own version of having to figure out how to deal with something. And we’re all better than we realize at being resilient. But damn, it’s tough when you’re in it. It’s lonely because not many people truly get it, even those who are close to you and really care.
Oh, Nicci. That is so hard. (I'm sure harder on you and the hubs than the kiddo; kids adapt.) I was the weirdo with the allergies, mostly to animals, deathly allergic to horses (and we had 2). My super respected and totally mean pediatrician said I would outgrow them. (He also said my asthma was psychosomatic...the asshat; didn't have an inhaler until I was 16). For some (wool, fresh cut grass), I did grow out of. Then, others came about. Like an anaphylactic reaction to aspirin and all its products when I was in my 20s (which is basically everything but Tylenol and opiates, and opiates make me barf). Also, it was fun to learn I'm allergic to buckwheat (and so are a lot of folks, but no one ever talks about that, just have buckwheat pancakes or pizza crust if you're gluten-free!). Now, I'm dairy-free, egg-free, grain-free, caffeine-free, nut-seed-and-legume-free, and my allergies are better. (When I decide I can have some nuts, because cashews, or seed flour, because cookies, or gluten-free fare, because bread, I end up paying for it. Snotty's not just an attitude and sinus infections aren't fun.) I believe what we do to our food (all the GMO-ing) is part of the prob. All the cross-contamination only makes it worse. I hope we will get better about this, because these allergies and intolerances are only getting more common. I'm so sorry you all had to go through this, so glad you are coming out the other side. You must be a wonderful support for those just starting this path. xo
I love this piece. It’s fascinating to simply follow your “journey” (what a tired word; wish I had a better one) through the years of worrying, thinking you’d hit on the solution, realizing you hadn’t, worrying, thinking and on and on. But it’s not just fascinating. It’s emotionally gripping. And it’s so very true--the things in our lives that begin seeming impossible, that disrupt our lives completely, and that over time become part of our everydayness. I’m trying to get to the “mundane” part with aspects of aging that currently seem unacceptable--but of course, can’t be changed--and that I have to learn to live with. Your story is a great reminder that I can do it. Not a happy ending, perhaps, but one that can be lived with!
Nicci, again, what can I say that isn't redundant? I was thinking just this morning how draining and expensive and frustrating it is to accommodate dietary restrictions.
Two of my children have confirmed dairy intolerance. I am the most complicated in the family and am finishing week 3 of an extreme elimination diet because of the symptoms you describe your daughter having, mostly throat congestion, coughing, a constant tickle.
I've already done no gluten, dairy, or refined sugar for years after my first autoimmune diagnosis. (I suspect there is another.) Now I've deleted corn, soy, peanuts, and eggs, too.
Plus all the detox supplements.
Ugh.
You are not isolated in your exhaustion. Like you, I'm used to bringing my own food to social gatherings and coolers of my own food on family road trips. Plus, I purchase special snacks for my DF kids for school, and no one gets the school hot lunch. So yeah. Lots of meal planning.
Beautiful essay. My daughter also struggles with food sensitivities and for a time, I was on an elimination diet while nursing—to put it lightly, it fucking sucks! Kudos to your commitment to grind your own flour and spend $400 on groceries at Whole Foods—it's a true testament to the love and devotion you have for your child(ren).
My heart was in my throat just reading this. What an ordeal! You and your husband have to take so much credit for keeping at it in order to give your daughter a normal life. Would you be where you are now, almost to the finish line, without all of those steps in between?
All that preliminary work has brought you to the people who might finally have solved the mysteries. I hope you all can rest easy now and enjoy the days ahead.
Your dedication to your daughter's health is heartening and inspiring. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow Nicci, what a beautifully honest memoir of parenting a young child with specific needs. Thank you for opening my eyes to what you and yours have endured. You're a good one, you are.
I felt this on so many levels, Nicci. I also have a similar draft in writing, albeit with my family’s much different story. You’re right, though, that everyone’s dealing with their own version of having to figure out how to deal with something. And we’re all better than we realize at being resilient. But damn, it’s tough when you’re in it. It’s lonely because not many people truly get it, even those who are close to you and really care.
Oh, Nicci. That is so hard. (I'm sure harder on you and the hubs than the kiddo; kids adapt.) I was the weirdo with the allergies, mostly to animals, deathly allergic to horses (and we had 2). My super respected and totally mean pediatrician said I would outgrow them. (He also said my asthma was psychosomatic...the asshat; didn't have an inhaler until I was 16). For some (wool, fresh cut grass), I did grow out of. Then, others came about. Like an anaphylactic reaction to aspirin and all its products when I was in my 20s (which is basically everything but Tylenol and opiates, and opiates make me barf). Also, it was fun to learn I'm allergic to buckwheat (and so are a lot of folks, but no one ever talks about that, just have buckwheat pancakes or pizza crust if you're gluten-free!). Now, I'm dairy-free, egg-free, grain-free, caffeine-free, nut-seed-and-legume-free, and my allergies are better. (When I decide I can have some nuts, because cashews, or seed flour, because cookies, or gluten-free fare, because bread, I end up paying for it. Snotty's not just an attitude and sinus infections aren't fun.) I believe what we do to our food (all the GMO-ing) is part of the prob. All the cross-contamination only makes it worse. I hope we will get better about this, because these allergies and intolerances are only getting more common. I'm so sorry you all had to go through this, so glad you are coming out the other side. You must be a wonderful support for those just starting this path. xo
So well written and very touching. Thank you for the open, honest share.
I love this piece. It’s fascinating to simply follow your “journey” (what a tired word; wish I had a better one) through the years of worrying, thinking you’d hit on the solution, realizing you hadn’t, worrying, thinking and on and on. But it’s not just fascinating. It’s emotionally gripping. And it’s so very true--the things in our lives that begin seeming impossible, that disrupt our lives completely, and that over time become part of our everydayness. I’m trying to get to the “mundane” part with aspects of aging that currently seem unacceptable--but of course, can’t be changed--and that I have to learn to live with. Your story is a great reminder that I can do it. Not a happy ending, perhaps, but one that can be lived with!
Nicci, again, what can I say that isn't redundant? I was thinking just this morning how draining and expensive and frustrating it is to accommodate dietary restrictions.
Two of my children have confirmed dairy intolerance. I am the most complicated in the family and am finishing week 3 of an extreme elimination diet because of the symptoms you describe your daughter having, mostly throat congestion, coughing, a constant tickle.
I've already done no gluten, dairy, or refined sugar for years after my first autoimmune diagnosis. (I suspect there is another.) Now I've deleted corn, soy, peanuts, and eggs, too.
Plus all the detox supplements.
Ugh.
You are not isolated in your exhaustion. Like you, I'm used to bringing my own food to social gatherings and coolers of my own food on family road trips. Plus, I purchase special snacks for my DF kids for school, and no one gets the school hot lunch. So yeah. Lots of meal planning.
It's a time tax, to be sure.
Really a great piece. I was around d and knew it was bad, but had no idea how bad!!
Beautiful essay. My daughter also struggles with food sensitivities and for a time, I was on an elimination diet while nursing—to put it lightly, it fucking sucks! Kudos to your commitment to grind your own flour and spend $400 on groceries at Whole Foods—it's a true testament to the love and devotion you have for your child(ren).